Nice People Will Sabotage You

**Great article from Inc.com.**

How to keep quiet politeness from killing your sales, marketing and probably your business.

Nice Businessperson

I’ll admit it. I’m not a particularly nice person. In fact some consider me brutal with my honesty. (Some just call me a New Yorker.) Either way they’re right. I don’t coddle. I don’t insult, but I call it like I see it and often I offend. I don’t do it to be mean. I do it out of integrity. I believe (often foolishly) that when people engage me in conversation that they are truly interested in my opinions and experiences. So I share, willingly.

A colleague of mine claims one can offer blatant truth, and still be nice. She says: “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” I don’t buy it. I have often witnessed, when someone has invested their heart, soul and ego into a project, and you tell them truthfully and nicely why it will never work, they still think you are cruel and non-supportive. Don’t take my word for it. Just watch Shark Tank, or American Idol. Except maybe Kevin O’Leary, most of the investors or judges aren’t actually rude or impolite. (Not sinceSimon left anyway.)  They simply point out the errors in the unfounded beliefs of the contestants…dashing their dreams and crushing their spirits…thereby appearing to be cruel and non-supportive.

The alternative to us truth-sayers is people with discretion. They grew up under the rule: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.” They either lie and say something “supportive” when you bring them your hideous, doomed-to-fail idea, or worse they exhibit what I call Quiet-Politeness and simply say nothing. Most likely they’re not vested enough in your success to engage in conflict with you over your passion.

These nice people are not doing you any favors. In fact they are sabotaging you in three ways.

1.  Nice People Waste Your Time. 

This happens in sales all the time. You meet people at networking events. They’re polite. They never actually tell you they won’t do business with your company. So you optimistically think they’re worth keeping in your tickler file. You follow up every couple of months. You email them a birthday card. You tell yourself that someday they will come around. They won’t. They politely return your email or take your call, again omitting the fact that they’ll never buy and are generally annoyed with your persistence. In fact they would better serve you both, by stating that they already buy from their brother-in-law or that they hate your CEO, and just cut you loose. In sales, nice people suck up the majority of your time and resources. Just look at your conversion numbers.

**To read the rest of the article from the original source, click here.**

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